A few times I'd go to a party and meet a lot of people, but most of the time I was flat on my back in some dumpy motel room getting fucked assembly-style.Right after the New Year James kept talking to Ronnie about something called the Super Bowl that would be in New Orleans. "Everyone with a whore was heading there to make some big bucks," he told us. James was taking his four whores and suggested that Ronnie take me."They gots this old warehouse they use as a whore house and there's a ton of money to be made," he claimed. I could see Ronnie was interested as he continued talking. I couldn't listen any longer as I was taking another john into the next room.I didn't really hear anything else about it until a few weeks later when he was discussing it with Deek. Ronnie made the plan to take me there Friday, using Kayra as a cover, and work me there Friday night, all day Saturday and come home early Sunday morning before mom went to work and she wouldn't even know I'd gone. He planned on. . yes, I’m sure. Be gentle. Enjoy.” I handed Pilar her first month of birth control pills. A gift from her mother. She accepted solemnly.She’ll be fine, our Pilar.Irony is woven in to the fabric of our lives, isn’t it? Maybe not for those who lead essentially shallow lives, unexamined lives. But most of us experience incongruities, wry coincidences, odd paradoxes, as we stumble along.I’m in counseling. Seeing Dr. Lindsey Conners three mornings a week. I resisted it for the usual dumb reasons. I’m tough. I’m fine. Don’t need any help.But that Oasis investigation. One of my Irregulars, Birdy Cummings, had her head blown off by a pointblank shotgun.Horrific as that was, my family -- Walker, Vanessa, Pilar -- were targeted to be killed by Greta Gunther. Me too, but by that time I wouldn’t have much cared. Or maybe some deep rage would have had me fighting to the bitter end.In any case, I found myself exploding awake, heartbeat in Emergency Room ranges, gasping for air. Breathless. Other.
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